I firmly believe that we learn something with every experience that we have. Whether it’s consciously or subconsciously, we learn something with each person we meet, see, hear, talk with, or even pass on the street. In addition, our consciousness (mind, brain, whatever) accepts and processes information that we are not consciously aware of. At the same time, there are hidden messages in things that many of us aren’t aware of until it is pointed out to us.
As an example, I was the guest presenter at the ALUUC on June 29th, 2008. I gave a presentation called “AH HA!” The sermon was on my “AH HA!” moments that helped lead me to where I am today. I provided the audience with quite a bit of personal history about myself, which included some rather intimate details, to demonstrate how important those “AH HA!” moments were.
Quite a few members approached me for weeks thereafter congratulating me on a job well done, and thanking me for sharing intimate details that most would consider secret, or that they would have themselves kept secret. In other words, they were shocked by what I shared, figuring that most people would have kept such things inside as skeletons in their closets, if you will. In consideration of my past, many of them said, “And, look at you now.”
This made it clear to me that many people did not “hear” the hidden premise within my presentation because such a comment implies a negative judgment of my past experiences, even though I explicitly said that every experience that I had was a blessing that lead me to where I am today. If I did not do or experience one single thing that I did in my past, I would not be the person that I am today. And, I don’t mean to sound pompous, but I kind of like me and who I am today. Therefore, how can I in good conscience label anything that I did, or any experience that I had, as negative or bad? At the time, I was simply where I was on my path.
The hidden or unspoken message in all of that is that it is only harmful to our individual selves and our individual inner spirits to negatively judge people as they are. Like me in my past, people just are what they are, they are where they are on their respective journey, and we have no idea where they are going to end up. Trust me, people that knew me 20 or more years ago, that I do not still associate with, would laugh in your face if you told them how I am today.
“Yeah, sorry buddy, but I guarantee we are NOT talking about the same Jerry Zarley that I knew. He was nothing but a high-school dropout that was a lazy, scrounging, worthless, womanizing, piece of crap user, and there is no way he changed that much.”
But, I cannot look back and regret being “a high-school dropout that was a lazy, scrounging, worthless, womanizing, piece of crap user,” because if I wasn’t that then, I wouldn’t be what I am now. Therefore, it would be foolish of me to negatively judge anyone for how they are now because they are just where they currently are on their journey, and I have no idea where their journey is leading them, or how they are going to end up.
